Am I just that bad...

of a person? Or am I just a really shitty friend. I guess I've never had any actual good friend, I mean I have lots of "hey, I kinda know you" friends but I'm just not worth anything more. Any friends I deem as close either end up being bitches or never talk to me except when they have to, like when I'm sitting by them...Why is that? I wish I knew...I mean like...take dani. If I'm not with you I probably won't even get to meet Lee. And if I do get to meet her we surely won't hang out without you. I don't really even have any friends. Any at all...eric and dani are the closest I have to friends and I don't even talk to them outside of school. When you leave, other than school, I'll never talk to anyone...ever. I don't talk to people online cause I can't and no one texts me, even though I actually can. So what does that leave me as? Nothing...not a friend, I'm barely a person. I'm only good for when someone needs me and not the other way around. Everyone thinks I'm that worthless? Well fuck that. Just because I'm nice doesn't mean people have to fuck me over on everything, so if you bother reading this. This is why I don't wanna hang out, I may be one of your first thoughts but I'm no one else's. No where. Not at home, or even in choir, I have no friends but eric, kind of dylan but that doesn't count. Everyone else either doesn't want to know me or hates me. Great, and the only time in the past I've been thought of was when at last minute I'm needed. Well aren't I so special...I'm just worth so much. Sheesh...what a loser I can be, and here I'm wallowing about my lack of friends and people who care, even more loser-ish. Thanks for listening...maybe