He is...

sweet, romantic, quiet, funny, soft, gentle, loving, smooth, and silly. But sometimes just a few other things slip out. He can be rough, mean, cold, cruel, sadistic, and all around painful. And the weird thing is, these are just the things I'm looking for. I want a guy who can be rough and demanding. One who can hurt me then kiss away the pain. God I love him. He knows exactly how much I crave that pain and how deep down I am a masochist who just wants a good bite or claw. Then he can just snap and be oh so gentle and sweet. I love him, both his sweet side and his dark side that to this day no one but me really knows he has. No one noticed the red teeth marks on my neck or the long red scratches down my back. And when I asked him what I would say if anyone asked what happened, he wanted me to show them my entire red and raw back then say, 'At least I have someone who pleases me' and just laugh as they all stare and blush. God I love him, he is so perfect. I just wish he where here more. Today I didn't get to talk to him until after school and I found that all day, I was cold and I was just lacking most of my normal bouncy, loud, fun, outgoing emotions. Then when I talked to him later, I was all laughs and I was just about boiling. I really didn't think that I was that dependant on his voice, his laugh, his warmth, yet as more time passes between when we last talked I can feel my joy and warmth slowly ebbing away. I miss him so much and I got to say goodbye and see him this morning, god what am I going to do for weeks and even months on end? I love him so much, I just need to focus on school and being happy.